Long Afterward, I Came Up
on It Again…
The trees cascade by on
the winding road as we head back home.
Its been a long luxurious day of talking, hiking and skipping rocks with
a pizza lunch thrown in the middle.
25 years ago, I would
have considered myself an avid hiker. I
made my way to the mountains almost every weekend. The mountains felt like a spiritual
retreat. Though I couldn’t tell you what
I needed to retreat from back then.
Mostly it was about fresh air and exercise. I just barely committed to my relationship
with God and it felt pure. Young.
Limitless.
I liked my job as a
retail manager. I was mom to a sweet
little boy and though his dad and I were no longer together, we were amicable
with each other.
But at some point, I
stopped hiking. It began when I got
tangled up with someone who I let take me away from myself. Someone who I gave up my peace for. Hindsight is 20/20. I literally carved something sacred out of my
life to entertain something detrimental.
And I don’t know why. Except
maybe because I thought I was trying to form a life that I was told was
supposed to be the ideal. But honestly,
I really was already living an incredible life.
The hike today was
different from those hikes before. Because
so many experiences are bookended in between.
My heart needed to get back to the mountains. It was different to be in the mountains
today. There was more intention to
it. A recognition of what I had lost. Or should I say carelessly threw away. There is more power this time. The power is defined as rest.